Transition to Turmoil?

January 16, 2024

How Changing Schools Can Affect Youth – Part 1 of 3

Part 1

Raising children in today’s world is full of opportunities, and also rife with challenges.  Among the usual struggles kiddos deal with while growing from children to adolescents/teens, moving to a new school can bring a new set of barriers your child must learn to overcome.  Several studies have shown that changing schools can negatively impact youth in many ways, ranging from behavioral issues, getting behind academically, struggling socially, or making existing mental health issues worse.  Unfortunately, there is even a correlation between switching schools and later dropping out of high school.  Typical barriers to a happy transition may include anxiety about “starting over,” sadness for leaving friends/teachers, or even anger if the child feels their desires/needs are not being considered. 


Sometimes, the cards we are dealt in life result in the need for relocation.  Moving/changing schools can be due to several reasons, and can be positive, negative, or a mix of both.  Common examples include moving as a result of a loss (through divorce, death, or loss of employment), a promising job opportunity, or even due to a child having trouble at their current school.  Your child might be resistant to move if they are doing well at their current school, but for example, if you as the parent know that this new career will bring financial security to the family, the positive might outweigh the negative.  Despite the potential negatives mentioned above, the fact that your child might struggle should not be the sole decision-making factor when choosing what’s best for your family.  Positive reasons to change schools include giving your child an opportunity for a “fresh start” if they have experienced social struggles/bullying, for a better match intellectually/for academic reasons (i.e. moving to a school with a smaller student-teacher ratio, or one that offers advanced/dual-credit courses), or could simply result in a better financial situation for the family, which means more stability at home. 


If moving schools is being discussed due to problems at the current school, it’s recommended to take 30-60 days to consider the decision.  During this time, talk it out with your child, see what their needs are, and take their opinion into consideration.  Bringing your concerns to the teacher or administration is a constructive option as well, and gives the school an opportunity to address any issues from their side. 


See Part 2 of this series for further discussion on how to better understand your child’s challenges!

December 7, 2024
Written by: Summer Ladd, LPC- Associate
January 25, 2024
How Changing Schools Can Affect Youth – Part 2 of 3
September 18, 2023
When you think of a setback, do you see an insurmountable barrier, or an opportunity? Oftentimes, challenges that arise in our life can cause us to veer off of the path we were going on. This can be a relatively mild inconvenience, like when you forget to press “start” on the oven timer and the lasagna gets burnt to a crisp. Do you see this as a disaster? Do you think, “of course I messed it up, like always?” Or maybe, go into a panic, thinking “we’ll starve if there is no lasagna!” Or do you see it as an opportunity? Something like, “oh crap, I screwed up the lasagna… Well, now we can try that new Thai takeout down the street!” Sure, you may feel bummed out, annoyed at yourself, or sad because you really wanted lasagna, but the difference is whether you allow these feelings to continue and manifest into something deeper, or if you learn to accept the situation, shrug it off, and move on. This may be a silly example, but the underlying message rings true. Fact 1: The lasagna is inedible. Fact 2: You cannot un-burn said lasagna. Fact 3: Your reaction to the burnt lasagna will determine how the rest of your evening goes. Will you be angry, frustrated, or disappointed for the next several hours, or will you realize that stuff just happens sometimes, get your (equally delicious) Thai food, and order an automatic kitchen timer on Amazon while slurping noodles? You are “allowed” to be upset about the dinner path changing, but the difference is asking yourself what those feelings actually do for you? The facts are the same, regardless of your feelings about them. 90% of the time, a challenge or mistake in life unfortunately cannot be undone. The only control we have over the situation after the fact is how we react to it and move forward. Whether a small problem or a life-changing occurrence, the shift in mindset–or “reframing”–of these situations can have a huge impact on our wellbeing. I’m sure you’ve heard the statistics about stress leading to heart disease, high blood pressure, chronic fatigue, etc. But have you heard that other studies have shown stress to have a positive impact on us? The key difference is how we think about, or frame, stress in our lives. Those who believe stress is negative & harmful, will show signs of harm. However, those who frame stress as positive, i.e. as a motivator, a survival tool, etc., actually show positive health characteristics such as increased focus, increased blood flow, and the release of endurance hormones. As with most things in life, too much of something can have negative effects. The same rings true with chronic stress, but having the understanding that temporary stress is not inherently harmful can literally change the way your body reacts to it, and therefore not cause additional stress just from being stressed! Got it?? Things that happen in our external lives are sometimes out of our control, but most of what goes on in our internal lives can be modified. For example, seeing the need for a new dinner option as a chance to try something different. This type of mindset is applicable in many everyday “stressful” situations; in traffic, we can be angry about the slow downs, or we can see an opportunity to listen to a new Spotify podcast or playlist. At a restaurant, we can be frustrated & impatient that the kitchen is backed up, or we can see an opportunity to spend extra time chatting with the family/friends that joined us. Either way, our attitude about the situation will likely not change what is happening, but what it will do is affect our physiological responses to the situation, and our mindset/mood both during and after the situation has passed. Setbacks of any proportion, from small troubles like dinner & traffic, to life-altering challenges like a medical condition, have different impacts on our life. However, the mindset shift of “barrier” to “opportunity” rings consistent. Being angry at the world will not change a diagnosis; however, seeing a chance to become healthier & appreciate each day is life-changing in itself. Remember this quote from Brian Tracy: “A comeback is always stronger than a setback.” --Emily Hill, QMHP
Share by: